Since that never happens to me (and because it made me feel like a bouncy, shiny-haired cheerleader for the first time ever), I pushed myself to accept all the offers. If awful dates, which your friends seem to be able to turn into funny anecdotes on a dime, seem catastrophic to you, that’s okay too. And while we’re on the subject of dating fears, it’s okay if you want to cancel.
It’s important, first and foremost, to set some personal boundaries with yourself. It was a strange, atypical situation where a lot of fellas seemed determined to meet yours truly. Ignore your mother when she hounds you about grandchildren.
Do this often, and you will find yourself naturally becoming more like your outgoing friends. When you make the decision to approach a woman and speak to her, remain committed no many how uncomfortable you feel.
By simply going out with trusted friends who are already the life of the party, you will find it much easier to loosen up and come out of your shell.
4) Find friends who are more outgoing than you are.
It might sound pretty reasonable when you first hear it except for the fact that it’s utter bullshit. It took me years of dating before I finally started ignoring this type of “practical” advice. For introverts, first dates are minefields of small talk and mindless chatter. if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, would this date be just as bad? As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. If you have a date scheduled that evening and you just can’t go, so be it.Let’s keep our discussions reflective, productive, and welcoming.Please follow our Community Guidelines and understand that we moderate comments and reserve the right to delete comments that don’t adhere to our guidelines. There’s a problem with the one-size-fits-all wisdom commonly intoned during dating discussions (“Just put yourself out there! After jumping through the hoops of answering questions such as “where are you from? ” one too many times, you start feeling that dates are no longer probable sources of a deep, meaningful relationship, but rather deep, dark pits of despair. You tend to be sucked of all your energy as if you’ve been set upon by a Harry Potter dementor. Don’t feel the need to go into some long, drawn-out explanation either.Because, as introverts, we often derive our energy from solitude and quiet contemplation in which to process life’s events, we have only so much social goodwill to go around. Just simply state that you need to reschedule, and offer an alternative date, time, and place. I’m going to pass along the best piece of advice my old therapist ever gave me.Meeting women is a challenge for most men, but it can be especially difficult for guys who suffer from extreme shyness. Any interaction can go really well or really poorly. It’s hard to be shy when you’re doing something that gets you excited. If you’re looking to come out of your shell and improve your social life, check out The Art of Charm Academy.