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We were not trying to trap people or be dishonest; really, I just wanted to see if girls are ever able to exist on a place like Tinder without being harassed.

Not too much to ask from a site that’s created for meeting new people, right?

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I’m convinced this has way less to do with a disparity in our levels of attractiveness than the fact that, as I later found out, men have a tendency to swipe right three times more than women. More than 40% of my matches messaged me despite my asking them not to, while only 6% of Doug’s matches reached out to him.This is a perfect example of the way girls get treated almost anywhere on the internet – no matter what we say, guys expect us to owe them conversation. And then, he got two messages from sex workers using the platform to find clients. I suppose just that Tinder really isn’t a place to connect and make new friends. But the way Tinder markets itself as a space for everyone to meet new people made us think that hey, maybe we both won’t get people offering to have sex with us since we said we weren’t interested.Nobody ever messaged Doug or me saying anything along the lines of “Hey, I read your profile, respect that you are in a relationship and would love to hand out and hear more with you in a friendship way! Friendship never was brought up with any of his or my matches. Not the case – I’d say nine times out of ten, the people offering/asking for sex did not even glance at anything further than our pictures.And that other 10% – guys that read my profile and were still sexual aggressive – were the absolute worst of all. Ladies on Tinder, be prepared to “owe” guys conversation on yet another social space, no matter what. She’s written for Xo Jane, The Fanzine, Weird Sister and The Newer York and started the anti-street-harassment blog “But What Was She Wearing?” Kati has been surviving off of pizza, glitter and glam rock since 1991.It totally makes sense – more options, even if they’re not all 100% what you want, equal more hookup opportunities for guys, while for girls, fewer matches mean fewer creeps texting you at 2 a.m. It’s not a super significant number – and really, I had almost three times as many matches, which is totally what should have happened according to those Times statistics – but it gets bad when you look at the messages. I don’t want to start our look through the messages on a totally negative note.

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