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Launched in December 2014 to combat men’s embarrassing behavior on Tinder, dating app Bumble aims to create a more respectful, female-forward dating environment for those with “standards” and a distaste for opening lines like, “I like your tits, I want to swim in them, splish splash, do I still have to wait 30 minutes after eating to take that swim?

” To achieve this feat, Bumble’s creators have essentially combined Tinder, Snapchat, and the ominous countdown clock from 24 in order to empower classy females to find the mate of their dreams. Well to us, it also sounded a little Almost every profile picture we came across looked like someone’s fantasy creature cut from a GQ/Cosmo mag.

While Tinder has a wide variety of people who want to fuck you, and seemingly never runs out of profiles, Bumble delivers fewer, yet way more drool-worthy pics.

We started to plan our wedding to the Zak Efron lookalike that we matched with a couple swipes back, but realized that we should probably make a move and say hello first.

After reading some of these profiles, we started to feel a little like a goal-less peasant on the brink of homelessness.

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