Eli Finkel, a Social Psych professor at Northwestern.
Finkel’s team agrees that online dating is a great way to discover people you might not meet otherwise.
Studies suggest that people often lack insight into what attracts them to others (and why), and therefore the characteristics they seek out in an online profile may be very different from those that will create a connection in person, the review notes.. And there is to communicate this dynamic in a profile.
In a format that emphasizes “things I like to do” and sorts according to activities, your viability is going to hinge on how well you conform your life to those dictates. Well, it’s obviously nice if the person you’re interested in likes some of the things you do. As for the baggage, most of it fits in the overhead bin. (Or speed dating environments, either, for that matter.) In an online dating context you can’t make me look terribly desirable to the female window shopper without lying.
They’re all in love with their careers and have great friends. I was deep into this rant with my buddy Mike a few months back and he was laughing at me, so I logged in and called up my daily matches to prove it. How many times in the past six months have I looked at a picture of a woman who would make me insanely happy for the rest of my life and clicked no? I do know, from personal experience, that there are women I don’t think are attractive or interesting when I first encounter them, only to later conclude that they’re stunningly compelling.
Your system may work great for some folks, but the more I think about it the more I realize how perfectly it’s engineered to fail for me. But at least I can stop shelling out a month for the privilege of deluding myself.
My perfect match and I are going to walk right past each other without even noticing 100 times out of 100. You know, the one who bitches because women don’t give him a chance while he’s not giving them a chance? Or rather, I’m using you to make myself a worse person, and it has to stop.
However: One of the weaknesses of online dating is an overreliance on “profiles,” the researchers say.
Although most dating websites feature photos and detailed, searchable profiles covering everything from personality traits to likes and dislikes, this information isn’t necessarily useful in identifying a partner, Finkel and his coauthors write.…daters don’t always know what they want in a mate—even though they generally think they do. Some of them disliked me at first, in fact, and others didn’t warm up to me for quite some time. The things that are best about me simply aren’t evident at a glance.
The working theory for businesses like Match and e Harmony, I suppose, is that true love is best predicted by that checklist of activities.